Dear Family and Friends

The last time I wrote a letter like this was the Christmas of 2017 before Bill left us in January 2018.  I thought about skipping this year (so overwhelming), but I’ve been writing one since 1983.  I love Christmas and everything about it, but many things now make me sad.  I thought my second Christmas without Bill would be better.  But as Dr. Phil says, “time heals nothing.”  I’m accepting as best I can the sadness that surrounds me while enjoying the joys my family and friends bring me—for there are many.  Thank you for your comforting notes, cards, and letters over these past two years.

Spending time at camp is one of those joys.  Camp can sometimes be my quiet time with my grandkitty Leo or a fun, happy time with lots of family and friends enjoying the water and sunshine.  With lots of help, camp upkeep gets done, starting in May.  As the days get shorter and darker, it’s time to close up and move back to the apartment, where I won’t have to shovel snow.   I’m not sure whether I will head to Lake Havasu City for February or March.  Rentals are hard to find when you want just a month or two.  I will enjoy some time in Sun City with Janice and Patrick.  There’s plenty to do in Marquette over the winter, and there’s nothing better than watching a blizzard from my third-floor balcony.

Adam and Krysta are enjoying life in Calgary but are already imagining their empty nest when Zachary (17) starts college next fall.  Their oldest, Jakob, is in his junior year at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, majoring in history.   I last saw Zachary and Jakob when we all traveled to East Berlin and Athens in August 2018.  Thanks to Krysta’s advance planning and tenacity, I got on the plane, albeit reluctantly, and proceeded to have an experience of a lifetime.  Shana’s entire family and I were in East Berlin for almost a week without luggage, but Krysta to the rescue with dresses for us to wear.  We walked to the Berlin Wall Memorial and to the Prater Garten, the oldest beer garden in East Berlin.  We took the U-Bahn to museums, the Brandenburg Gate, Checkpoint Charlie, the powerful Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Germany among so many other sites.  One trip on the U-Bahn was especially memorable.  As the train was nearing our stop, it slowed down but didn’t stop to let us off.  An announcement in German came on, and we heard audible gasps.  A passenger must have seen our confused faces for she told us in English that our train couldn’t stop because of a bomb threat.  I more fondly recall enjoying our morning coffee and croissants on our hotel’s sidewalk café and watching the German people ride their bikes or walk to work.  It was hot!  90s as I remember.  On our final day in Berlin the last of our suitcases arrived just hours before our flight to Athens.

It’s hard to put into words the trip to Athens.  It was hot, but the history, the buildings, the food– all so incredible.  We stayed at The New Hotel, which was modern and beautiful.  We walked just about everywhere.  We had rooftop happy hours and dinners at our hotel after we had spent the day experiencing all that we could.  We did a mythology highlights walk and a tour of the Acropolis Museum.  We walked the grounds of the Acropolis and marveled at the Parthenon and visited other sites like the Temple of Olympian Zeus.  Mike’s most eagerly anticipated site was walking around the ancient agora in Athens to find the site marked “House of Simon,” where the philosopher Socrates spent a great deal of his time.  We were all excited at having found this ancient site.  And, of course, the food in Athens was exactly what you would expect:  incredibly tasty, fresh, and reasonably priced.  Adam found a tucked-away garden restaurant, Ama Lechei at Nefeli’s, and we savored the many small plates we all shared.  It was so good, we went back!

I returned from Athens while the family spent another week on a boat touring the islands off Turkey.  (I’m laughing at the word “boat.”  Both the boat and their week on it was unbelievable.)    I flew 13 hours back to Toronto and was to connect there for my flight home.  But sometimes flights get delayed or canceled and sometimes you can’t get another flight for a couple of days and sometimes you have to go through customs twice and sometimes you’re walking around like a zombie because you haven’t slept in 24 hours.  So, yes, at Canada’s largest and busiest airport, all of those things happened.  I was like a chicken with my head off until Scotti helped navigate that huge airport with me via phone.  Something serendipitous was certainly afoot.  With the help of Facebook, iPhones, and who knows what J, I flew to Winnipeg and stayed with our good friends, Al and Arlene Schick.  The next day, Bill’s sister Janice and Patrick picked me up.  They had been in Winnipeg for a reunion, and they were driving down to visit me anyway.  We had two extra days together!

Just this past summer, Shana and Mike celebrated their 20th anniversary with a lovely party in Philly.  We all flew in for the special occasion, got all gussied up and watched as Mike & Shana had a super sweet vow renewal with Raines, Pax and their friends’ children as the bridal party.  In fact, their friends planned the party for them—decorations, food, music.  Shana wore a super fancy dress that Scotti found for her, and we danced and ate fabulous food for the rest of the evening.  Shana wrote on themomedit.com:      “… our families flew in, and it was literally just perfect.”  And it was.

Raines is turning 12 in January and Pax just turned 9.  They are both avid skiers and on ski teams.  We all flew to Philly just a week ago for a quick trip for work and to see the Christmas lights.  Lucky us, they join us on December 19 for Christmas in Marquette.

Greenlea (age 5 and in Kindergarten) just completed five performances of the youth theatre production of Frozen at NMU.  Scotti and I attended four of them!  She was one of the little townspeople and as cute as you can imagine (the young talent in Marquette is amazing).  Even her brother Ozzie (15 months) attended one.  He certainly loves his Nana and laughs at my being silly with him.  Everyone says he looks just like Scotti and/or Bill, which I love to hear.  Scotti works for Shana’s blog, along with 8 other contributors, but I happen to know that Scotti is the best writer.  J   Zack is now a stay-at-home Dad, which is working out so well.  I often watch Ozzie so Zack can get some work done.

There are any number of events that I could write about, but I would rather ask that you give your love a big hug for me because I truly wish for you to cherish the time you have with your family, with each other.  Such a simple thing.  But it’s the simple things I miss the most.  The shared laughter, the “I can’t wait to get home to share this story with him” moments, the loving look in his eyes, his quiet breathing at night.  Some friends want to know if it’s getting better.  I still have that “kicked in the gut” feeling whenever I think about him.  But perhaps they’re really asking if my life is getting better.  Life is different, and I can honestly say that the ability to see, feel and enjoy the blessings and joy in my life is getting better.  I’m so grateful to be here, to be spending time with my family and friends. The missing him will never go away.   I wish he were here to enjoy his children and grandchildren; he would be so proud of Adam, Shana, and Scotti as the wonderful parents they have become.  So, at this very special time of the year, I remember the wonderful years we had and am thankful for the loving support and care of my family and friends.  Wishing you the gift of time with your loved ones.